Can Anyone Fix a Broken Heart?

Hey everybody. Just a little update before I get to the heart of this post. This week has been okay, I suppose. Loneliness has set in, and I'm really missing my girls. They are all over Facebook, and I miss seeing them face to face. I started my second class on Monday, called Great Writers of the Western World. It's been pretty good, so far. I mean, I'm only a week in, but I'm liking it okay. The first couple of stories were morbid and creepy, but the work is not too bad. This weekend, up to Tuesday, I have the entire house to myself, and I get to be an adult and be me and blast music loudly and all hours of the day and such. I'm kinda excited about that. :) I still have had no luck in finding a job, and I got even more good (not) news on Monday. I have to have my wisdom teeth out. ASAP. So, I have an appointment with an oral surgeon on Thursday to set up surgery and stuff like that. Hoorah. I also get to go to my Aunt Vick's house Monday night for dinner. I'm excited about that because I haven't seen her in a while, and I've missed her. 

 Now to the heart of the post. I have been having a rough time these past few days. When I went back to church for the first time, I went to see people I hadn't seen in five months. Most of them didn't recognize me, and were pleased to see me. But there was one friend, well, former friend now I guess, who wasn't happy to see me. I said hi to her, and she said that it wasn't me, and that her best friend was dead. I said that it was still the same me, just a different size, and she said that it wasn't and walked off. She was usually the first one to greet me and was like my little sister. Hearing those words really hurt me, and made me question if I was still the same. I kinda forgot about it, or at least I thought I did. Then, a few days ago, I just felt all of the emotion well up inside of me. I was upset, angry, and just discouraged, and scared. Now that my greatest fear, losing a friend, had come true, what was to stop it from happening again? Then, I just went numb for a couple of days. I didn't want to feel anything or do anything. I cried a lot, and my heart felt shattered. My chest hurt from the pain. I'm still hurting from all of that, and I want to forget it, but it's at the forefront of my mind right now. So, still hurting, and my heart still hurts. Anyways, have a good week you beautiful people you!

 Stay Beautiful!
Marlee

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

A New Beginning

Image
Well, hello everyone! I'm back! It's been a hot minute, hasn't it? There have been a lot of things that have happened in the past few years, and I would love to catch y'all up on all of them! Let's just get started on the writing, shall we? Fall 2018 Wow, what didn't happen in fall of 2018? Let's see. I was still able to work at the Belcher Center as a student usher, and I really loved my job! It was always so much fun to work with Kurt and the gang. I also was student teaching at Spring Hill Primary here in town. I loved working with the teacher and the kiddos, and I had so much fun every day there. That fall, I also turned 22 and it was such a fun day. The biggest thing that happened that semester, though, was getting my sweet kitty girl Stormy Jane. She's a long-haired tuxedo baby, and she is the best kitty ever. She was so tiny when she showed up on Bridey's front porch, just the size of a three month old kitten. To our great surprise, however, s
Read more

Big Step Forward

I took a big step forward today. I went to get a haircut. Now, most people would think that's not a big deal, but I have an irrational fear of barber shops and hair salons. Yesterday, I made it as far as the parking lot before I started having a panic attack. But today, I did it. I got a haircut. I'm really proud of myself, and I know that this is a big step for me. Sorry about not posting last week, I had a date with my daddy that lasted all day. These past two weeks have been pretty good. My class has been going well, and I'm super happy with how it's been going. Season 15 of NCIS has been released on Netflix, and OH MY GOSH MY EMOTIONS!!! I'm going to die. Only 15 days until I leave for my trip! I'm super excited to go to Florida. Like, I'm super ready. Anyways, that's all for this week. Have a good one! Stay beautiful! Marlee
Read more

TBH

Image
Hey guys. This week has been absolutely horrible, with the exception of Monday evening. Monday evening, Bridey came over, and we celebrated Galentine's Day. It was really fun. She got me the cutest fox EVER! I am absolutely in love with it and have kept it near me all week. I named her Lil' Bit because it's so little and for a personal reason. Dad came home with a bad bug last week, and I caught it. My immune system is down already because I have been sick for so long and homebound, so a simple cold lasted me until just about today. I'm still getting over it. It felt like I had pneumonia or something. I was not a happy camper. On top of that, I had to cancel college night because I am still getting over this thing, and my emotions have been all over the place. I have been really, really depressed these last couple of days. All day, all I have been doing is watching movies and playing video games because I have nothing better to do. I have absolutely no appetite, so I ha
Read more