Emotional Roller Coaster

Hey guys! I hope y'all's week has been pretty good. This week has been an emotional roller coaster, and it has been really hard on my system. Halloween decorations are everywhere, so I am fighting on a daily basis not to have a panic attack. I will be so happy when this season is over. Also this week, I had a panic attack. In the middle of a lab. So, yeah. Not the best day. I am so thankful for Nikki though. She was texting me because she was across the room and could tell something wasn't right. After taking the quiz that had to be done, I had to leave, and she came out a little bit after to calm me down. We walked outside and she helped ground me by pointing out things to see, smell, feel, hear, and taste. Thankfully, this wasn't a major panic attack, so I was able to calm down after a few minutes. Thursday, I went to see a new counselor. It went well, and I hope I can continue to have meetings with them. I told my mom after I went, and she said she hopes it doesn't get out and ruin my dad's reputation. I never expected her to say that. When did I become worth less than a reputation? When did my need for help become less important that my dad's reputation? It really hurt me to hear her say that, and I had a rough rest of the day after that. I called Bridey, since she was gone (AGAIN ;), and she said maybe I should've told my parents before. I don't really know tho. So, I went out on the mound after the Pro-Life meeting, texted Nikki to see if she could come out for a minute, and started crying. Allie walked by and saw me, and she came out to try and help me feel better. Nikki came a few minutes later, and they both sat with me and prayed with me to work through this situation. I am so thankful for both of those girls, and I don't know what I would've done without them. Anyways, so I have been working through that the past couple of days, and working through my body feeling like it's shutting down. I am so physically and mentally exhausted that I feel like a walking zombie with all that's going on. I even fell asleep on Lissie last night because I was so exhausted. So, yeah. That's my week. Hope y'all have a good one!

 Stay beautiful!
Marlee

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