Overcoming Suicide

Hey there people of the internet! Sorry that it has been a while.There have been a bunch of busy days these past couple of weeks. There are tests to study for, homework to do, sleep to catch up on and my birthday to plan. I will be 19 on the 18th. Crazy right? I think it is. I have been doing really well, even though the past couple of weeks have been kinda up and down. Saturday was the best by far tho. Lissie, the bestie, and I carved pumpkins!  Pumpkin selfie! Me and my pumpkin Lissie carving her pumpkin. Lissie didn't tell me about this pic. We're done! Ain't they purrty? Lissie's pumpkin on the left, and mine on the right. I carved the Deathly Hallows on the pumpkin. I'm a Harry Potter nut if you couldn't tell. Js. Lissie wanted to be more normal, the nerve of she. How rude! I said she should do Alaska on her pumpkin. Antyways, other than that, nothing really notable happened. I take my driver's test Tuesday, and I am so ex

Hey everybody! Sorry it's been a couple of days. Classes and homework have been CRAZYYYYYY! I finally finished my Primary Source Review that was due last Thursday, but because of a hiccup in the system, I didn't get the notification. Crazy huh? I also found out that I have to take 6 hours of adult driver's ed by Tuesday. That is so GREAT! NOT! I also have had a hard time this week. Yesterday, I was kind of upset because I am kind of jealous. Lots of people I know are dating, and I just feel like that I will never be able to have someone to love. I know that I just need to be patient and wait for God to bring the right man, but it's so hard. Especially when just about every one I know is dating someone. I have been really frustrated because of the driving stuff, upset because of the dating stuff, and just down about not really feeling better even after surgery. Oh, and I haven't even told you the best part! Last night while I was on campus before my 6:30-9:30 class,

What's up everybody? Today was a pretty good day. I felt stronger emotionally and physically. Classes were not too bad, especially Geography (since it was canceled) :). I also had my Pro-Life group meet today, which was really fun! Those meetings are always great. I love my school. I can be who I want to be there, and ask for prayer and be able to find people to pray with. I also got to see the bestie! It's always fun to see her. During the day, a lot of people messaged me, approached me, or commented on the last blog. I really appreciated all your kind words and how you guys made me feel. I don't feel quite so alone anymore. I am going to try to be transparent on these blogs, but that may not always happen. I mentioned in the last blog all the things that have happened through the years, and I kind of want to talk about those. I was bullied at school, basically since day one when I arrived on the campus as a full-time school kid from home-school. I felt alone, and not real

So, hey everybody! I know that this is kind of out of character for me, but I wanted to start a blog and keep it for my journey. I have been having suicidal thoughts since I don't know when. I have been doing really well considering all that has happened in the past few years. Then suddenly, I slipped. I was sitting in my 6:30-9:30pm history class, and I started contemplating and planning suicide. Let me tell you, after a year of not contemplating, that scared me. During the break, I texted my best friend, whom you will hear a lot about in my blogs, and told her what happened and that I needed to see her immediately after class ended. She replied with "okay". After class ended I went and found her, and I just sat in her arms and cried. I was feeling so emotional at that point. I was depressed because of what had happened, scared because I contemplated suicide, and just felt emotional because of classes and little sleep. I calmed down eventually, and after that I went home