Overcoming Suicide

Hey guys! It's been kind of a slow week. At this point, I'm still having a hard time sleeping, so I feel like a walking zombie. Hence, the title. Everyone has been on Spring Break, so it's been kind of fun to watch all of their adventures on Facebook and such. I have been so grateful for texting this week. I have been texting Bridey and Lissie multiple times a day, for hours on end. I miss talking to them face to face, but this has been really good so I don't go insane. Another friend, Michael, came over and visited on Thursday. He is in the Pro-Life group on campus, and he stayed on campus over the break. I invited him for dinner and a movie, and we ended up discussing Harry Potter, Hunger Games, and other books and movies. It was really great to be able to talk about my passions and be able to share my passion with someone else. Yesterday, I was supposed to go to a doctor's appointment, but we got halfway there, I was feeling so sick and in so much pain, that I as...

Well, hello there. As you can probably tell by the title, I just want to be knocked out. Over the course of the past week or so, I have not been able to get any good sleep, and the past three days have been little to no sleep. Last night was a no sleep night. My emotions are all over the place, I can't think, I can't really do anything but want to sleep, which I can't do at this point. Hoorah for me. I have been extremely emotional, crying at the drop of the hat, or getting Hulk Smash angry at the slightest annoyance. I'm just so ready to sleep again. If you have any tips or suggestions, comment below, and I'll see about trying them. My mom has also discovered that my eyes have a slight yellow tint. Great. More health problems. I am going to be going to the doctor soon, according to my parents. But, soon could be next week or next month. I don't know. With my new diet, it's been kind of hard to find things to eat. The gluten free bread my dad got is only goo...

Hey guys! Wow. Is it already Saturday? I feel like all my days are just starting to blur together. This week has been okay, I guess. My mom's family came down on Wednesday so they can celebrate my Nana's birthday a month early. They have been out every night since then, so I have been home alone the whole time. Let me tell you, it hasn't been all that fun. Tonight, they are all at a party at Steve's house. Bridey came over on Tuesday to have dinner and a movie. I feel like that happens every week, which I love. I had fun that night, and my mom's oldest brother got to meet my best friend. I haven't been sleeping well for the past few days. I have been up until 4 or 5 in the morning, and then sleeping until noon or 1. I have had a short fuse, so it's been hard to keep my temper in check. It's also been affecting my emotions, so I am having a lot of mood swings. I'm so ready to be able to sleep again. This week has also been a week of musicals and hat m...

Hey guys. This week has been absolutely horrible, with the exception of Monday evening. Monday evening, Bridey came over, and we celebrated Galentine's Day. It was really fun. She got me the cutest fox EVER! I am absolutely in love with it and have kept it near me all week. I named her Lil' Bit because it's so little and for a personal reason. Dad came home with a bad bug last week, and I caught it. My immune system is down already because I have been sick for so long and homebound, so a simple cold lasted me until just about today. I'm still getting over it. It felt like I had pneumonia or something. I was not a happy camper. On top of that, I had to cancel college night because I am still getting over this thing, and my emotions have been all over the place. I have been really, really depressed these last couple of days. All day, all I have been doing is watching movies and playing video games because I have nothing better to do. I have absolutely no appetite, so I ha...

Hey guys. Sorry that this post is a day late. Yesterday was really bad as far as my health goes. I was having a hard time keeping my head up, and walking was a lot of effort. But, it was a pretty good day as far as emotions go! My friend Ellie, from high school, surprised me with a visit. We talked and got to catch up, which was good. She and I were really good friends in high school, and she was the first one to make me feel welcome at ETCS when I started there. To make the day even better, my parents, who were out on a date all day, came home with Lissie! I was not expecting that. I got to spend an evening with my best friend, which was nice. She helped me make pizza with a gluten-free pizza crust mix that my daddy found, and then she made cookies for her party that she went to tonight. We also watched MIB3, which, to be honest, is the weirdest one yet. I got a Valentine's day card from my grandparents this week. They sent me a gift card, and with it, I bought music. Such a surpr...

This has been a week of sadness. Monday afternoon, I went to LeTourneau University for the last time as a student. I had to completely withdraw from school for my health. It was a hard decision to make, but it was what was best for me. The week has been pretty much a week of sadness. I have not been able to do anything or go anywhere since then. I have been down, and a couple of times were really bad, but, as per the norm, I text Bridey and everything is good. People cane over tonight, 10 of them to be exact. That has been the highlight. The only other thing that I have done this week is binge watch Full House because the new series Fuller House comes out on the 26th.Other than that, nothing new. So, this post is going to be shorter. Anyways, love y'all! Talk to you next week, Marlee

This week has been the epitome of bad. I had to go to my follow up for my endoscopy, and we got news on the biopsy and the blood work that they took. Everything came back normal, for what they have found so far. So, we are back at square one. I have more new meds, and one of them knocks me out, and makes me groggy all day. Since we are still going to have to do testing, my parents and I have made the hard decision that I am going to withdraw from school for the semester to continue to find answers and try my medications to see what will and will not help. At this point, I am basically home bound because of the nausea and the pain. Add the grogginess to that list, and you have a day in the life of me. It was really hard to tell people that I was stopping school because of my sickness. I started crying when I told Bridey. Almost cried from telling everybody else. Today is when it really hit me, because Saturdays are when I'm gonna get to see people. Unless they co...