Overcoming Suicide

Hey everybody! This week was really rough. As all of you know, I've been struggling with anxiety and panic attacks a lot this year. This week was probably the worst it has ever been. On Monday, I was triggered by some things the speaker in Chapel said, and I went full blown. I couldn't hear, see, or feel Bridey and Allie as they were trying to bring me back. I realized that when I start having a panic attack, I need to focus completely on calming down instead of trying to focus on two things at once. The things I saw while I was in the state of panic were horrifying, and you guys don't want to know about any of them. It took about an hour for Bridey and Allie to get me calm and talking again. After that, I was kept close. That was a very good thing, because I was still having a rough time with what I saw. Bridey and I ended up playing "Real or Not Real", like Katniss and Peeta did at the end of "Mockingjay". It really helped me to sort out my thoughts on

Hey everyone. Okay, I know I have posted about new music, like, a million times by now, but I am so excited about this new music! I finally got Bryan Lanning's debut album "Us"! Oh my freaking glob. I have no words for it. It is so amazing and perfect in every way. Infinite amount of stars out of 5. The music is so much more personal on so many levels and you can relate to it so much more. I am so beyond happy to have it on my phone. It has been playing almost nonstop since I got it on Thursday night. I'll link the video preview below. Anyways, in other news, I somehow made the Dean's List at school. Don't ask me how I did it, because I don't know. I'm still in shock. This week has been super crazy. Monday there was no school, so I hung out on campus that day. I fully intended to do homework. Yeah. Didn't happen. Oh well. I start work next week, so hopefully that'll help me out some. This week has been pretty uneventful. Just a lot of school an

Hey everybody! This week was crazy! It was the first week back at school, and I'm already swimming in homework. Not really swimming, but I have a lot. I have been feeling a lot of heartbreak and stress this week, and I can feel the toll it's taking on my body. I am totally and completely exhausted. Chapel on Monday was really hard for me. One of the pictures brought back feelings from a dream that I had that was really horrible and emotional for me. Needless to say, I was shaking and sobbing after chapel, and everyone was worried about me. There has also been a couple of bugs going around campus. So, I have had to wear a mask to keep me safe. I don't want to get sick and have to catch up like I have been doing. Classes are going well so far. I love all of my professors, especially education professors. I am taking College Algebra this semester, so I have a tutor for that class, and so far I haven't had any significant struggles. Amie Grace is doing well, just sleeping a

Hey everybody! Sorry about the lack of post last weekend. I was with my dad's family, and I was pretty sick. So, hence the lack of post. This week has been pretty good. Wayco came home for a few days, and it was nice to have him home. He left today, so it's kinda sad. On the upside, dorms opened today on campus, so all my friends are coming back! Yay! Bridey, Lissie, Nikki, Jessi, LeAnne, and all them are coming back today and tomorrow. I'm so over the moon excited. I've been ready for this day since before the break started. I have been listening to this song for the past couple weeks, called Someone Else by The Jellyrox. I'll have it linked down below. The lyrics to the chorus go like this:  "Sometimes   I wake up wishing I was someone else.  In a different circumstance, with a different set of plans.  And I feel just like the world expected someone else.  Well I just wanna like what I see.  I just wanna like being me" Honestly, that's how I feel