Overcoming Suicide

Well, hello everyone! I'm back! It's been a hot minute, hasn't it? There have been a lot of things that have happened in the past few years, and I would love to catch y'all up on all of them! Let's just get started on the writing, shall we? Fall 2018 Wow, what didn't happen in fall of 2018? Let's see. I was still able to work at the Belcher Center as a student usher, and I really loved my job! It was always so much fun to work with Kurt and the gang. I also was student teaching at Spring Hill Primary here in town. I loved working with the teacher and the kiddos, and I had so much fun every day there. That fall, I also turned 22 and it was such a fun day. The biggest thing that happened that semester, though, was getting my sweet kitty girl Stormy Jane. She's a long-haired tuxedo baby, and she is the best kitty ever. She was so tiny when she showed up on Bridey's front porch, just the size of a three month old kitten. To our great surprise, however, s

Hey everyone! I'm so sorry that I haven't posted in forever. There has been so much going on in my life, from trips to senior year to just figuring out my life. I have been doing well, and I am so proud of my journey and how far I have come. I also have some sad news. This will be my last post for now. It is hard to say goodbye to something that helped me so much these past three years, but I can't give you my full attention. Maybe someday I will start writing again, but for now, this is goodbye. Thank you all for coming with me on my journey, and for loving me through it. I love you all, and pray that you all are blessed and feel loved. Remember that your story isn't over yet, and that you have such an amazing life to live, so live it to the fullest. Stay beautiful, my lovelies. Marlee

I took a big step forward today. I went to get a haircut. Now, most people would think that's not a big deal, but I have an irrational fear of barber shops and hair salons. Yesterday, I made it as far as the parking lot before I started having a panic attack. But today, I did it. I got a haircut. I'm really proud of myself, and I know that this is a big step for me. Sorry about not posting last week, I had a date with my daddy that lasted all day. These past two weeks have been pretty good. My class has been going well, and I'm super happy with how it's been going. Season 15 of NCIS has been released on Netflix, and OH MY GOSH MY EMOTIONS!!! I'm going to die. Only 15 days until I leave for my trip! I'm super excited to go to Florida. Like, I'm super ready. Anyways, that's all for this week. Have a good one! Stay beautiful! Marlee

Hey everybody! I hope y'all had a great holiday week! I had a pretty good week. My mom's sister and part of her family came down for the week, so it was fun to see them. It's also World Cup summer, so there were lots of soccer watching parties this week. Sad day that Brasil is knocked out of the Cup. They played strong though, from what I was told. I honestly don't have the patience to sit with a bunch of crazy people watching an intense game featuring Brasil. I was reading and watching movies instead. Wednesday was Independence Day here in the US. It was awesome to spend time with family and friends. I even got to do my own firework show. It was so much fun getting to set off fireworks and watch people's reactions. My cousin's reaction was the best though. This year was her first year to be able to set off Roman Candles, since she's 11 now. She was apprehensive at first, but after setting off her first one, she was quickly asking to do two at one time and m

Hey everybody! Sorry for the disappearance. After my last post, I decided that I needed to take some time to work on me and getting myself in the right mindset. I'm doing somewhat better, but I'm still definitely feeling emotions. I took my test a week ago Thursday, and I got my results on Thursday. I did not pass the math section. That was a hard thing to see, and all the stress and anxiety I had just finished dealing with came roaring back. I have to wait another 36 days before I can take the test again, so I am really stressing. I did manage (somehow) to pass the other sections though, so that's good. I have also been doing a lot of reading lately. I am finally on the third book of the Chiveis trilogy, called "The Kingdom". I've read the series before, but it has been a while since I read it. I'm excited to relive the adventure and see how it ends. Once I finish, it will be back to the reading list, starting with "Delirium" by Lauren Oliver. I

What do you do when the heartache doesn't stop? When you regret every decision you've made because of one decision that hurt you? When you can't get him out of your mind because you're plagued with "What Ifs" and "why did I do this to myself" questions? How do you make the pain stop because it has reduced you to sitting in your house in a hoodie in 97∘ weather because you keep asking yourself "What If?" What do you do when the pain has consumed you and you can't focus on your schoolwork? Do you let the pain consume you or do you try to ignore it by binge watching your favorite show on Netflix? Do you think about the pain you caused him because you weren't ready for this and it all felt too fast? Will you ever stop blaming yourself? What happens when your safe people aren't there because it's summer and everyone has gone home? Do you let yourself spiral down into darkness or do you fight to be back to normal? All of these q